Patches of March

A short/long study about naivety:

In the beginning I didn’t believe really bad (in sense of idiots) people existed. After that, I didn’t believe they were really bad, just unhappy. I felt pity for them. Now I see them everywhere and they are not unhappy. I don’t feel pity for them. I’m thinking about creating a super duper extra pill in order to destroy. Bad people, idiots, phi. Get away.

travels around

travels around

-oh, it happens a lot to me.
-really? i thought you only live by holding your suitcase, daily, let’s say.
-nah, of course I do, but sometimes i also travel around persons.
-he’s got the personality.
-like everyone.
-like every city that has the morning lights and the dusk lights.
-you like to travel him.
-i like to travel.
-right.

From off to on (2)

from deep breathes to the very tired Friday evenings.

from the travelling impressions to the commuting stress-high-level.

from the big plans to no time nightmares.

from the summer to coldness.

from dancing to nothing.

i guess it happens to everyone, work, get by and be captured by weekend’s dream catch up.

pero no me quejo, para nada.

an ordinary day, an ordinary age. (Don’t call me on Birthday!)

you only get to the centre once.

things we’ve done, things we feel satisfied with, things we waste time on, don’t call me on birthday.

the bodies are swinging, how much did they have to sacrifice to swing like that?

but you say you want to sing, but you do sing every day at work with kids, so perhaps you only want to feel famous, not sing at all?

or maybe you want to feel a kind of fullfilment before the 25th birthday? please, don’t call.

it all comes at the adequate moment, it’ll come. 

Christmas Eve’s aims.

We had talked about it before on the shore, somewhere in Kanazawa, the farest we could go during a weekday and we were both moody and rather sad. I knew you wanted to ask me some questions you couldn’t ask your international friends in Tokyo, but I waited, as the questions, like flowers, need time to bloom. [(hello Coelho)]!

-What’s the aim? Why am I here? I wanted to meet someone, I really need to meet someone right now. Someone pure, real, I left it all behind, Mum calls me and keeps asking: why, why are you there? And I’m not meeting anyone, I’m okay with my job, but screw my work, this is not it. What’s your aim?

-Oh, you really want to know? It’s simple and quite silly. Don’t you dare steal the plan for MY life, this is my project, Anthony, and for much we love each other and I’m learning from you and you learn from me, you can’t answet your Mum with my response. I found it unexpectedly while eating. It was a simple spaghetti with a modest piece of fish. Groomy, dark, December Saturday. I didn’t feel like seeing anyone, I felt stuck in the country, unsatisfied with studies and my coward attitude towards time and dreams. I also was exhausted. Physically and mentally. All the worst. I loved my job, but some circumstances left me with no energy at all. It was December, I repeat and the dark polish Autumn can be harmful. Besides that, we all were kinda depressed, lost and slowly forgetting our purposes. I was sitting in this quiet flat in that ugly town

-You mean the flat with the patio and the tree. I liked that.

-Me too. A nice, secure cave. So I was this Saturay thinking about my Mum and who always keeps asking me why, why, what’s your purpose and so far I hadn’t been able to answer her. It’s so easy. More or less at your age I also focused all my energy on finding the person. Then it disappeared. Then everything is so far about putting yourself on trial. Over and over again. It’s fun and it never stops. At least for me. 

-Trial. How do we say that in Polish?

-Wystawiać się na próbę.

-Oh yes.

-Don’t say that to your Mum. She’ll get crazy. Tell her about the hidden sense. It’s the same, but sounds more profound.

-You must be kidding me, again. Let’s go for Christmas this year to Poland. A surprise visit. What do you say?

-I say,let’s take this trial!

December’s Parade.

Nice to be able to admit that I still have one or two lectures at the University that keep me thinking. 

Not much life, not much joy, not much light. December. Looking at kids and through trams windows. 

I keep some songs under my pillow, though. And looking forward to see the sea in two weeks. Oh.